So what are we really looking at here. A blog? A video site? Some middle aged man's decent into the abyss of insanity brought on by a combination of bird flu and potted meat poisoning. The answer as you probably discussed with your work peers is..."That will be fine."
Everybody is babbling about what they are thankful for, knowing damn well, their thankful little mouths will be spewing vile word venom at Black Friday shoppers over who got to the last Tickle Me Michael Jackson doll (that comes with a real piece of his bleached skin) and signed copy of his death certificate signed by Dr. Evil from his prison cell. So the tip today is shut up and focus on that rotting piece of turkey lodged in your lower right molar that seems to be giving your breath an eternal stench of dead brahman carcass. Happy Holidays everyone!
Tip of the Moment - 6-12-11
Never eat a cow while it is still alive. It's cries will attract a whole posse of titmice. If you have never experienced a titmouse shower, let me tell you, you do not want to. A cobbler told me this story as he mended my night slippers. He died later that night. Kind of like The Gambler in that Kenny Rogers song. His job was done.
Tip of the Moment - 5-27-11
If you don't have any bones, it is quite acceptable to throw yourself off of a very tall building or into a cavern. However, it is likely you will never go pole dancing again; nor will you smell mountain fresh after a good scrubbing.
Tip of the Moment - 5-22-11
Don't ever pull on the nose of a hound as it is all they got and plus they will bite your face. You won't look pretty and your dreams of being the Car Show Queen will be shattered.
Tip of the Moment - 4-25-11
Do you want to know one thing you may want to try when you are in a group of people?
Instead of calling each person by their name, simply look straight into their eyes and make a clicking sound with your tongue for five to eight seconds. They will thank you and you will feel like you developed your own mysterious language.
Content copyright . Johnny D. Cargill. All rights reserved.